Arrogance is often defined as an over-bearing pride or a superior haughtiness to others. Throughout my life when I read that statement, I thought I was ok. Why? I couldn't see the blind spots. We are blind to our own arrogance. It is a poison that eventually affects every aspect of our lives. Pride left to grow can be as taxing to remedy as forms of cancer. It grows so deep within us, confessing and repenting of it can feel like someone is cutting out a tumor.
Because pride takes on many forms, it usually goes undetected for years. It can be a subtle sin that we employ daily like something in our attitudes or desires. This can also be a refusal to acknowledge God as he is, either in trusting his promise or waiting on his will. It is also a failure to fully realize that all our abilities, achievements, possessions, and relationships are not due to ourselves, but to the gifts and grace of God. Sometimes without knowing it, we are conceited, judgmental and full of pride.
Remember we are blind to it. Do you often make assumptions about people or situations? Do you make presumptions about your life or the lives of others? Are people uncomfortable around you? Are people often strangely silent or give half-laughs or fake smiles? Do you monopolize all the conversations and policies among your family and friends? Do you always need your way and philosophy? Are you easily angered and even bewildered when your advice isn't taken? Are you upset when others receive what you don't? Is it painful when others are called on more than yourself? Are you served more than serving others? Do you most often shirk responsibilities you think are beneath you or for someone else?
Let's not forget seemingly spiritual things as well we are blind to. Things like being unaware of our surroundings, or business while people in your community are sharing hurts with you. Do you struggle to sit with a hurting friend without quoting Scripture more than listening? Do you spend more time "discerning" your friends spirituality rather than listening to their heart? Do you try to christianize everything rather than genuinely engage the world?
Let's take this deeper. Are you constantly trying to be someone you're not? Are you often trying to put others around you in the same proverbial box? Do you have an exaggerated opinion of your own importance, merit or ability? Do you lead or teach from arrogance? Do you assume your calling or talent is a greater calling or talent than others? How about in your family? Do you lord over your spouse as a tyrant? Does your spouse have things to say that you are unwilling to hear? Do your kids have zero voice in your home? All of these could be symptoms of great pride.
As you read the above statements you are probably not too concerned. Why? You are blind to your own arrogance. We as humans are addicted to the 'pride of life.' It is the greatest hindrance to our love. It is the greatest hindrance to being loved and experiencing love. If you really want to change, you have to allow God to use a close friend to point out that which you cannot see. When was the last time a friend could really be "honest" with you about your pride? If you are willing and have the guts over the next few weeks, engage those closest to you and be willing to have an honest conversation. But remember, these must be people you know and trust completely.
Don't allow someone in your life to critique you that has an agenda or isn't ready to engage in mature conversation.
Ask them a few simple questions: What are my greatest strengths? How have you seen God use me this year? Where can I improve in life and in our relationship? What do other people say about me or how do they relate to me? How can I improve the relationships around me? Then afterward ask for some ways you can serve and pray for each other. I would encourage you to send these 5 questions in an email to at least 5 people closest to you. I would send it to your spouse, adult children, best friend, close co-worker and even someone that mentors you spiritually.
If you are willing to do this, I can promise you at least three things: It will be hard to hear, but it is necessary. It will be embarrassing, but cleansing, providing you used the right community to critique you. And finally, you will gain great respect from your relationships not because you listened to their advice but because you eventually grow into the leader they desire and/or need you to be.
I've always thought that God sometimes goes to great lengths to get our attention, that we might place our total dependence on him. He has such a great purpose for us and often our pride gets in the way. It's not that he is just causing us pain on purpose, but I do wonder if there have been times in my life he has allowed me to be humbled. It might be the only way to cut out this arrogant tumor. God loves us too much to allow pride to go unchecked. As much as this may hurt at times or even confuse us, God wants our surrender. Scripture makes it very clear that God hates pride and opposes the proud. Have you ever felt in your life that God is against you, and nothing good is happening? You might look deep within and realize, there is a pride you're holding and this pride is a disease that is keeping you from experiencing the true love of God.
Listen, if you are about to engage in this challenge I've given you, begin by meditating on a few verses that will encourage and direct you as you begin. Good luck, I'm praying for you and I hope if you do nothing else for God this week, you will check your blind spots.
Ephesians 4:22-24 - "You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness."
Philippians 2:3-8 - “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death-- even death on a cross!”
1 Peter 4:1-2 - “Therefore, since Christ suffered in his body, arm yourselves also with the same attitude, because he who has suffered in his body is done with sin. As a result, he does not live the rest of his earthly life for evil human desires, but rather for the will of God.”
